Log in

The Athenaeum: Chronicles of Erudition

Read this the tale of my despair...

Eric Lawrence Jeffus
9 May 1984
External Services:
  • orpheum@livejournal.com
  • deusxmelancholia AIM status
  • orpheum@gmail.com
Put simply, I'm a nerd. As an erstwhile English major and eternal copyeditor, I wield my red pen with the righteousness of a knight but the delicacy of a surgeon, and use words like "erstwhile" in everyday conversation. My obsession with the English language, as well as my denigration of its sins, befits the obsessive-compulsive, anal-retentive grammarian that I am. I read voraciously, write occasionally, sleep sporadically, and pursue knowledge in all its myriad forms ceaselessly.

I've worn many hats in the past few years — short-order cook, English tutor, Game Master for World of Warcraft — and, as Mark Twain so eloquently put it, have never let my schooling get in the way of my education. My current goal is to pursue a career in the culinary industry after attending school in Seattle, whose cool weather and abundant bookstores will be my solace from the cramped, sweltering kitchens in my work.

Paradoxically, I'm both a hopeless romantic and a hardened cynic, prone to both condemning society and crooning showtunes when the situation calls for it. I'm known for always having a book all but surgically bonded to my hip, musing on the origins of the English tongue, and possessing an unplaceable "accent" despite having lived in an unassuming Southern California suburb for the majority of my life.

Fun fact: I taught myself to read at the age of 2, and by 8 was reading books written for adults on such disparate subjects as Graeco-Roman mythology and Adolf Hitler; the latter made such an impression on one teacher at my elementary school during a field trip that she remembers me 16 years later.
absinthe, afi, agnosticism, alchemy, aldous huxley, alexandre dumas, ancient languages, anne rice, arthur rimbaud, arthurian legend, autumn, avenged sevenfold, babbitt, bad religion, beowulf, bram stoker, brave new world, brian jacques, candide, charles baudelaire, clive barker, comte de lautréamont, cruel intentions, cynicism, dante alighieri, dashiell hammett, dead poets society, dean koontz, douglas adams, eddie izzard, edgar allan poe, emery, etymology, f. scott fitzgerald, family guy, frankenstein, franny and zooey, frasier, french, futurama, geoffrey chaucer, george orwell, graeme base, grammar, greco-roman mythology, h.p. lovecraft, hamlet, harry potter, heart of darkness, intelligence, ipod, j. alfred prufrock, j.d. salinger, j.k. rowling, j.r.r. tolkien, japanese, jasper fforde, jeopardy, john donne, john irving, john milton, jonathan carroll, joseph conrad, josh groban, king rat, latin, le morte d'arthur, linguistics, literature, london, lord byron, lord of the rings, maldoror, maroon 5, marquis de sade, mary shelley, matchstick men, mediaeval literature, melancholy, mephistopheles, michael buble, middle english, minority report, monty python, moulin rouge, muse, nathaniel hawthorne, new york city, nightmare before christmas, old english, oscar wilde, ozymandias, paloalto, paradise lost, paris, percy bysshe shelley, phantom planet, phonetics, poetry, pre-raphaelite art, purdue, rain, reading, redwall, romanticism, romeo & juliet, rufus wainwright, seattle, serendipity, sir thomas more, starsailor, stephen king, t.s. eliot, the beatles, the canterbury tales, the decadents, the emperor's new groove, the evil dead, the eyre affair, the flea, the great gatsby, the hours, the inferno, the matrix, the raven, the ring, the royal tenenbaums, the scarlet letter, the simpsons, the tao of pooh, thrice, thunderstorms, tom wolfe, used bookstores, utopia, victor hugo, virginia woolf, voltaire, watership down, wheel of fortune, white oleander, william blake, william shakespeare, words, writing, wuthering heights